Sorry it's been a while

2.02.2009

I haven't had much to say, but a friend's email this morning has changed that. The original email was sent to us and another friend (Sara C) who just had twins a month ago. Rather than comment on our thread, I thought I'd just post it here.


-------- Original Message --------
From: Sara W
Subject: relax & enjoy
To: KarenSeeta, Sara C
Date: Monday, February 2, 2009, 9:58 AM



seriously guys -- what the hell are you doing all day??

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Re: relax & enjoy
From: Sara C
Date: Mon, February 02, 2009 10:13 am
To: KarenSeeta, Sara W

Sorry, I couldn't get past the headline. I tried to read it, but Jayna had to be fed, then Zan spit up on the dog, then he started wailing while Jayna needed to be changed, then Zan needed to be fed, then Jayna had to go the doctor and then it was midnight. I'm typing this with one hand while trying to drink cold tea I made 2 hours ago.

So what was the article about? :-)

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: RE: Re: relax & enjoy
From: KarenSeeta
Date: Mon, February 02, 2009 10:48 am
To: Sara C, Sara W

I'm just now getting to reading this. In my bathrobe. Because I just got out of the bedroom for the first time today. At 10:30 (and this is one of my work from home days). Last night's "let's try a 9pm bedtime so we can unwind after he's down" became "or not" as we bounced, comforted, fed, fed again (and we wonder why Bean's as big as he is...), burped, changed, entertained and FINALLY saw our little one off to a sound sleep - at midnight. The night progressed thusly: dream feed before we went to sleep, proceed to feed approximately every 2 hours (Special note to Bean's pediatrician: yes, I know he's big enough to sleep through the night, and yes, I'm on board with that. A child crying every two hours next to my head leads me to believe he isn't on board.), then the chronic feedings produced a symphony of farts, which in turn became productive and created a poop barely contained by the confines of his diaper. After changing, I gave up on the idea of making up for lost sleep and stumbled out here.

So you'll forgive me if I sit here in my robe, with my oh-so-lovely bedhead, mainlining caffeine.

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Comments for Sorry it's been a while
You will find that once he sleeps through the night you will be more tired. I learned to run on less sleep and once I was getting a solid 8 hours it exhausted me! I read the article. I have done both. I stayed home and I have worked full time with kids. I also have a lot of stay at home moms for clients. I will say this. They drive me crazy. I am not saying it is an easy job but I will say they need to get off the cross. They can have a life outside of the house that doesn't revolve around playgroups (which irritate me) and taking your baby (who really could care less) to every Mommy and Me class that is offered. Find balance, join the human race, and stop acting so overworked. And if your partner isn't helping when he/she gets home from work that is your fault for allowing that. Only you can determine how much bullshit you can put up with. Nuff said. Gotta go take me kids to school and head off to my other full time job.
 

It takes us a solid 2 hours to do the "bedtime" routine. Therefore, if we want them to actually go to sleep (and STAY asleep) by 7, we have to actually start around 5pm. Yep, that's right, it takes a full 2 hours to feed them and then get them to relax enough to go to sleep (via reading, singing, bouncing on the exercise ball, threats of a harassment suit, etc.)
 

Having kids is often a choice – not always, but just for argument’s sake, let’s say it’s a choice…. Problem is, knowing what you’re choosing is nearly impossible. Not only can you have no idea what it’s like doing anything for 24 hours, 7 days a week, but you also have no idea what sort of personality is about to move into your house for the next 18 years at least, and into your heart for the rest of your life. They come in all types and degrees of exhaustion, toil and sweat, and they are worth every single drop. I didn’t do my nails for my first four years as a parent – oh, I tried, but I never got past the first two nails before a little person needed something; after a few tries I conceded that fingernails were more for prying things open than they were for looking good anyway, so no big whoop. Another problem is that society (especially when mine were small) expects mothers to live in this ethereal state of bliss that magically descends with birth; complaining is sometimes frowned upon, but I’ve got news – a little bitching makes that bliss a little easier to come by. Today my two little people are in their 30’s and I know for sure today what I learned soon after my first one made his entrance into this world – having and raising children is the most wonderful and most terrible thing that will ever happen to you – wonderful for obvious reasons and terrible because you will never again only have yourself to worry about, and worrying about yourself is nothing compared to worrying about that person who invaded your home and stole your heart and brain, no matter how old they are. It’s like a wonderful, remarkable life sentence you give yourself the minute you decide to let them in the door of your life, and it’s a state of bliss, exhaustion, toil and sweat that can’t possibly be understood unless you’ve lived in it.
 

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