Say you're really cheesed off at someone. To add insult to injury, said person shows no remorse. What if there was a dedicated Apology Day and that person could (or was forced to?) apologize. Would that make you feel any better? Author Tom Perrotta thinks it would. He believes that a national Grievance Day followed by a national Apology Day will make the world a better place.
Though the idea sounds lovely, I have to disagree. Already, the words "I'm sorry" have been diluted into nothingness. "I'm sorry" is used to convey everything from "Oops, I got mustard on you" to "I just ran over your grandmother." That little phrase has a whole lot of ground to cover. The same can be said of "I love you," though to a lesser degree. It's kind of like our national debt. When you've used a word (in this case "trillion") too often, it becomes irrelevant. A trillion dollars no longer seems like such a big deal.
Seems to me then that an Apology Day would be just another drop in a leaky bucket. Why bother?
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Comments for Overused and meaningless
Ask the Jews how well Yom Kippur has worked for them.
- Posted at 2/10/2009 4:30 PM | By
Sara
A study was done by an average person who decided that he would speak to every person with whom he came in contact (including passers-by). It improved the quality of his life and the responses he got indicated that it was mutual. What would it hurt if we got a little nudge?
- Posted at 2/10/2009 5:01 PM | By
Totally agreed on "I'm sorry" becoming overused and meaningless...it doesn't help that we teach it from toddler-hood, forcing two-year-olds to hug and say "I'm sorry" like little apology-bots with no explanation given for what's transpired.
That said, I do like the idea of "ritualized air-clearing." But instead of taking our grievances to the offenders, why not have a national day of writing-letters-never-meant-to-be-sent, good ol' Jungian style? And then follow it up with a day of forgiveness. So, on Grievance Day, I would write something like, "Dear Dad, you're an ass-hat. Love, Me" and then tuck it away or burn it or whatever seemed fitting. And then on Forgiveness Day, I would forgive said father for being an ass-hat. It seems like a more fruitful way of getting folks to actually clear the air they have some say over (their own) rather than forcing us all to hug and say "I'm sorry" through gritted teeth. We are kind of a country of grudges and baggage (and lawsuits), and it would be nice to lighten our collective load.
That said, I do like the idea of "ritualized air-clearing." But instead of taking our grievances to the offenders, why not have a national day of writing-letters-never-meant-to-be-sent, good ol' Jungian style? And then follow it up with a day of forgiveness. So, on Grievance Day, I would write something like, "Dear Dad, you're an ass-hat. Love, Me" and then tuck it away or burn it or whatever seemed fitting. And then on Forgiveness Day, I would forgive said father for being an ass-hat. It seems like a more fruitful way of getting folks to actually clear the air they have some say over (their own) rather than forcing us all to hug and say "I'm sorry" through gritted teeth. We are kind of a country of grudges and baggage (and lawsuits), and it would be nice to lighten our collective load.
- Posted at 2/10/2009 5:23 PM | By
The problem is you shouldn't be forced to express a legitimate feeling or emotion on a specific recurring day. That expression should only come at the time that it makes sense for both parties, and only if you truly do feel it.
Oh and Happy Valentine's Day!
Oh and Happy Valentine's Day!
- Posted at 2/11/2009 9:26 AM | By kamor
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