Body modifications

3.16.2009

There was a line from either "Look Who's Talking" or its sequel where John Travolta and the baby are looking at a woman with big bazoombas. John asks, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" and the baby says, "Yeah, LUNCH!" Babies see the world through different eyes.

According to Bean, there are a few changes that I should make to my body to be more accommodating. With the following changes I may look silly, but Bean's life would be made a whole lot easier. (At least, that's what I'm lead to believe, given the frequency with which he makes the requests.)

  • LASIK surgery - So he won't have to keep taking my pesky glasses off. Who knew they got in his way so much?

  • Lip plates - I have tiny lips, which Bean does his best to make bigger through pulling. I don't know that I'll ever hit this kind of stretch, but that won't be for a lack of trying on his part.

  • Stretched earlobes - Ditto.

  • No nipples - While this may hinder his food delivery, I am guessing from the yanking and biting that this is his intention.

  • Saggy boobs - Ditto.

To sum up, I'd have boobs, lips and ears all dragging on the ground, but my eyesight would be perfect! Sexxxxy....

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Comments for Body modifications
That's totally gross and hilarious all at once. :) And so I give you this quote from the best movie of all time: "WRONG! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears."
Ears, eyes, whatever. I can be bffs with anyone who gets this. :)
 

Pure cinematic genius:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKl28Qtc4nI
 

Consider the possiblity that he wants you to keep the glasses, but you should have perfect eyesight so you won't mind when he rips them off 10 times a day.

oh, and don't forget the decorative scarification -- tiny parallel marks on the arms, neck, face & chest from tiny blade-like fingernails...
 

TCS, you are SO right! I just got done trimming his nails after having my face raked by those little daggers once again.
 

man a Princess Bride and a Look Who's talking reference all in one!

The funny thing is that when you adjust your body to Bean's current needs - he's going to want something else :P
 

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