A lesbian mom who believes that Hell is just a nice place to reconnect with old friends.
That's how I (oof) roll
9.30.2008
I've had a great pregnancy. No morning sickness - not even any nausea - and very few complaints overall. But now I'm finished. The Sugar Nazis have me restricted: no refined sugars, flours or white rice. I've also become the proud owner of some kicking cankles and sleeping exclusively on my left has given me a wicked knot in my mid back. (For some good entertainment, make me try and roll from one side to the other, or try calling me when my cell phone's just out of reach. Good times.)
Most moms-to-be eagerly anticipate the arrival of their little ones. Don't get me wrong, I want to meet Bean really badly. However, I'm also anxiously awaiting the time that I can eat a donut, have a gin and tonic and sleep on my stomach. It's the simple things, really...
Did you see the latest Tina Fey as Sarah Palin sketch? No? Take a gander:
I am simultaneously scared, angry and amused. Scared and angry at how very, very close an SNL skit comes to reality and amused at how dead-on Tina is as van Palin.
Didja hear the other news? Apparently Sarah's daughter Bristol and her fine (cough) upstanding (cough) baby daddy Levi are planning to get married (choke, gag) in early November... right before the election. As Church Lady would say, "Isn't that timing conveeeeenient?" You can check out their (fake) registry here: JCPenney.
I just hope more people realize that McCain's entire campaign is smoke and mirrors. Wake up and smell the b.s. y'all!
Oh, as if that isn't enough, pop over to BBC where they've compared McCain's probability of winning to that of Sarkozy - you know, the president of France. I take some measure of comfort in the fact that this article was written by a Republican adviser and speechwriter.
We just watched the season premier of Dexter (good, wholesome family entertainment... oh, hush - my first movie was Deliverance and I turned out just fine...). Anyway, the preview for next week's show had the best description of a new baby:
As of today, I'm (officially) one week away from my due date. Although 99% of people think this is a boy, my sister and the waitress at Canter's think it's a girl. Melissa thinks we know and are keeping mum about it. Not true. It'll be interesting to see who's right. It'll also be interesting to see who in the baby pool has the closest date guess. The earliest was for today (sorry, Denise, it's not looking too promising for you) and the latest is for October 13 (and that one's not gonna be a winner either - jumping jacks will commence long before then).
In anticipation of the birth, we're making a big ol' pan of lasagna and a monster iTunes playlist. Don't tell me we aren't prepared!
We just got done watching the presidential debate and its subsequent commentary on MSNBC. Not that this is a huge surprise, but I thought McCain just sounded like an asshat every time he opened his gob. Plus, I thought his body language was very telling - especially the fact that he didn't look at Obama once in the whole 1.5 hours. When McCain called himself a maverick, I could only wonder if "maverick" was somehow from the Latin for "exact same shit as Bush."
I have become fascinated by my belly button. Ok, maybe 'fascinated' is an overstatement (or maybe I need to do more to fill my days...). Regardless, have you noticed that this is an area that mommy blogs, advice sites and medical professionals don't address? No? Hmmm... maybe I do need to get out more.
Anyway, my point in this is that before pregnancy I had a pretty deep belly button. Now, at 9.5 months pregnant, it's practically disappeared. No outey, no inney, just nothing. I have a zero navel.
...
Ok, fine. I'll go out and do something. Sheesh. I was just making idle conversation...
Friday was my last day at work and I am now officially on maternity leave. Can I get a hallelujah? So far I've spent the time interviewing pediatricians, having the car seat inspected (results on my attempt: FAIL), scrubbing the bathroom, cleaning the house, going to a midwife appointment and making hotel reservations for family. I've also spent the time reading, lazing about, taking naps and playing with the dog.
Not once have I set an alarm and it has been so effing great. Aside from the whole "getting paid" part, who needs work?
If you picture everything the Catholics say you should be, and then reverse damn near all of it, you'll have a good idea what I'm all about.
I can be loving and a pain in the ass, all in the same breath (it's my special talent). I have strong opinions, but am willing to listen to others. If you want to discuss politics or religion, finance or pop culture, .