You know that saying "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the world blind and toothless?" I generally agree; all it does is perpetuate the very crime you're trying to cease. Kind of like capital punishment or telling your kid "I told you not to fucking cuss!"

Anyway, a court in Iran has ordered that a man be blinded. I was intrigued. Even though the article's title "Court orders Iranian man blinded" left little to the imagination, I didn't think it would so closely follow the saying. Turns out, that's exactly the case. A man threw acid onto a woman's face for refusing his marriage proposal. She needed reconstructive surgery to repair her face, but surgeons were unable to save her sight. (Sidebar: a general rule of thumb is that blinding and disfiguring your intended paramour is not the way to get her to say yes.) For this horrific crime, the courts have ruled that he, too, shall be blinded by acid.

Under normal circumstances, I'd think this was an ineffective ruling, but something about this seems just. I don't know what punishment would suit the crime more, and I'm tired of reading story after story about women abused and treated like so much chattel. This still isn't right, but some how, some way, it kind of is, ya know?

Labels: misc, news

We started the day with a decree. Today is to be spent taking it easy, watching movies and wearing soft clothes only. (It's one of the perks of not going anywhere - you get to wear schlumpy clothing and not give a hoot. Plus it allows for unlimited grazing throughout the day.)

For the first time together we watched the Macy's parade. It reminded me of being a kid. We'd watch the parade at my grandparents' house while hearing the sounds of breakfast being made. This morning made me miss the sounds of scraping the burnt off of toast and a geriatric coffee maker. Ah, Thanksgiving memories.

Right now, I'm watching Miracle on 34th Street, my sweetie is making a sweet potato pie, Bean's asleep in my lap and I couldn't be happier. I'm grateful for these little things - this is what Thanksgiving is all about.

Happy Turkey Day, all.

Labels: misc

I love this, but feel like some stops are missing. Maybe there's another line, or perhaps this train runs in more cities?



And is Bill O'Reilly really the second-to-last stop? Where does Bush the Stupider fall in all of this?

Labels: misc

Remember my post about our national debt? (See Why not call it a froufrillion?) Today's wire has news that the Fed is going to pump another $800 billion into the flagging economy - that's in addition to the $700 billion package they recently approved. If you'll recall, our country was approximately $10 trillion in debt a month ago. With this latest stimulus package, we've now tacked on another $1.5 trillion to that.

One. Point. Five. TRILLION. Dollars.

In one month. That's what? Fifty billion per day? It's staggering. I mean, the number has truly lost all meaning. When you begin talking about trillions of dollars like they're nothing, then we might as well implement the word froufrillion. Soon we'll just start using Monopoly money (not that our actual currency holds much more value) and dispensing with all pretext of it being worth anything.

It's a dangerous path to follow. You can see how Zimbabwe ended up with a $100 billion banknote that could only buy you three eggs. We're not too far behind. Obama's making a big deal of his plans to fix the economy, but is it already too broken?

Labels: news

I don't know if you've ever seen the commercials for Chemistry.com, but some of them feature gays who have been denied by eHarmony. The founder of eHarmony is a bigot Christian who doesn't think gays deserve to find love can be measured by their super-secret compatibility guide. (He's right - we aren't generally compatible with heterosexuals.) Anyway, in 2005 a gay man decided to call eHarmony out on it and filed suit.

And he won.

But if you ask me, it's a shallow victory. First, it took 3 years to reach a decision. Second, after all that time, he'll only receive $5,000. Third, gays still won't be able to use eHarmony. Instead, they are making a separate site for queers.

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: SEPARATE IS NEVER EQUAL. It's just Jim Crow for gays and love.

Sigh.

Labels: misc, news

As of today, Bean's a month old. In the past month, we've learned a lot of new things. Stuff like: bendy straws are indispensable, Ecover stain remover works great, wool diaper covers aren't worth a shit (ha!) and sleep is for suckers.

It's been a great month. Our little guy is getting less and less little and is stronger every day. He's already standing up (with assistance, of course) and his neck strength is rivaling that of a 3-month-old... beefcake! Bean smiles readily and gurgles, grunts and coos. From his little piggies to his chicky fuzz head, he's a little slice of heaven.

A lot of people have asked if motherhood is what I thought it would be. In the same breath it's everything I thought it'd be, and nothing at all like I'd imagined. And when you consider that I've wanted a baby pretty much my entire life (I'm really not exaggerating on that), you figure I've had a good number of years to mentally prepare. In the end, I think Bean has been placed on this planet to teach me two key points: that nothing will ever be like I planned it, and the amount of love I can hold for one creature is boundless.

I love you, Beanlicious. Thank you for ruining my life in the most delightful way.

Labels: Bean, monthly recap

Remind me again why we should bail out the big 3 auto makers? Yes, I realize they're huge employers and shutting them down would result in loads of unemployed workers in not only the auto industry but through the ripple effect in secondary industries, too. I also realize that Detroit is becoming a ghost town and this wouldn't help.

But.

On Thursday the CEOs from Ford, GM and Chrysler arrived in Washington DC to plead their cases. They all wanted to stress how very desperate they are to get their hands on billions of dollars of aid. This is after the $25 billion they already received. After acknowledging that they lose hundreds of millions of dollars PER DAY.

And yet those rat bastard CEOs had the audacity to fly to DC on three separate private jets. To now turn around and shake that tin cup takes an unbelievable set of balls. I say those fuckers get nothing in the way of salaries or bonuses and they need to personally kick in towards saving the companies that they helped ruin. Oh, and stop making gas guzzlers, dumbasses.

Labels: misc, news

Today Bean's wearing his "World's Cutest Baby" onesie. It was given to him by his Nona and - I may be a bit biased here - it's truth in advertising. This is all to say that he looks cute as a bug.

Looking slightly less cute is me. We gave Bean some gripe water to settle his stomach a little while ago. I think we were a bit late. He still looks adorable and me? I'm now wearing a new shirt.



Who knew A) such a tiny stomach could hold so much milk and B) he could get that kind of propulsion?

I should also point out that after shellacking his Mama, Bean's now cooing and is quite happy. Natch.

Labels: Bean, misc

Dear Time Warner:

Why oh why do you SUCK SO HARD? Why is it that our internet and/or phone and/or cable are always crapping out? I mean, is it really so hard for you to keep your shit together? See, here's the deal. You pretty much have a monopoly on the market (and hey, aren't those illegal, by the way?) and we (foolishly) have everything running through cable. Our high speed internet access, our phone - we have VoIP - and then the cable television itself. The cost is reasonable this way. Since all our family, many friends and all of Nat's work are out of state, the money we save on long distance alone justifies this. Our alternative is to have satellite for the TV, a land line phone - with all those services and long distance service as add-ons, and then DSL. The cost difference is almost 50 bucks per month.

The money I send you each month, Slime Warner, really chaps my ass. On the one hand, I think it's a rip off - especially since you can't provide consistent service. On the other, is the consistency of your competitors really worth that kind of cash? And while we're on the subject of payment, why can't you even get your auto bill pay to work? Does ANYTHING work with y'all???

It's a damn good thing I don't own a gun, because I'd end up going all Elvis on the cable box.

Assholes.

Love,
Karen

Labels: misc

I told you Bean's a grunty little bugger. Here's the proof:



In this video he's in the Moby wrap, sound asleep. By the time I recorded it, he had been doing this steadily for 10-15 minutes or so. Mind you, when he does it, it's not a sign of distress. He's perfectly content and will happily snooze for a good chunk of time. It kind of rocks.

Labels: Bean

First of all, I'd rather worship at the Sisters of Saint Sealy on Sundays. Having said that, here's one tiny reason why. A priest in South Carolina is telling his parishioners not to take communion if they voted for Obama. But wait! The reason why is even better! It's because Barack "Who's Sane" Obama supports abortion and and having voted for him "constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil." So church goers beware - your MORTAL SOUL MAY BE IN DANGER if you voted the wrong way.

I could probably make this stuff up, but why waste the brain power when the Catholics do it for me?

Labels: news

Many of you have seen this already, but note the update - NO GAYS FOR A DAY. Apparently, someone else was already working on the idea, so we're going with that date instead. The new date is December 10, which is a Wednesday. Think of it like this: if you call in "sick" to work on that day, then you'll have a two-day week, then a weekday break (great for watching Ellen), then another two-day week, and then it'll be the weekend. It's a perfect plan!

For more info, check out DayWithoutAGay.org or JoinTheImpact.com. See you all at the rally today!

Labels: misc

We've taken loads of photos of Bean, none of which capture what he's like. To try and describe him, I've decided to break it down by the senses.

SIGHT
According to Mom (and I have to agree), he looks kind of like a cross between Winston Churchill and the Gerber baby... but cuter. It all depends on the angle and what he's doing. Pooping or pondering = Churchill. Cooing and smiling = Gerber baby.


SOUND
He's a grunty little bugger. Especially when he's being held he sounds rather piglet-ish. It's very endearing and makes for interesting phone calls. The other day, I was on the phone with Radio Shack and the employee heard Bean grunting away. The employee said to me, "You sound, um.... tired." I thought it was hilarious not only that he thought it was me grunting but that "tired" was the most polite term he could come up with. Sort of "Hey, it sounds like you're taking a dump - just a heads up that I can hear you."

SMELL
Is there anything like the smell of a baby's head? It's warm and sweet. Unlike the smell of a baby's neck creases which smell like sour milk and trapped fuzzy bits.

TOUCH
Bean's skin is so soft (no shit, right?) and I can make both of us fall asleep by rubbing his little back. He's like my woobie.

TASTE
Um. I may have painted myself into a corner here. Taste. Hmm. Well, I can tell you that Nat has determined that the best place to give Bean kisses is on the bridge of his nose. It's safe - no spit up remnants or weird baby byproducts to encounter.

To truly appreciate all that is Bean, you have to meet him. He's pretty awesome.

Labels: Bean

By now you've heard about Prop 8 and its outcome. While the passage of it saddens me almost beyond compare, the aftermath's galvanizing effects hearten me. I know I live in a very liberal city and in a very gay neighborhood within. The day-to-day of this existence means I am often taken aback at the outright hatred perfect strangers spew at me via ridiculous ballot measures, legislation and politics in general. Proposition 8, however, seems to be a little different. From the anti-prop 8 rallies all over the state (and beyond), to national TV personalities taking a stand, it's nice to see people getting good and pissed about this. Keith Olbermann made a 6-minute speech tonight about Prop 8 that simultaneously made me want to cry and to hunt him down and plant a big, slobbery kiss on his mug. I know this is sort of long, but seriously, take a look (or you can read it here).


To my mind, this is a case of rights gone wrong and the continuation of painting us as lesser citizens, and it makes me want to scream. My thoughts can be summed up best by a sign seen at one of the rallies:

Do I get to vote on your marriage?

I mean, if you're going to legislate me to death, can I please return the favor?

Labels: news, politics

I was reading an article on the Prop 8 protests aloud to my mom. In it, the article mentions the Catholics and Mormons as backers of the ballot measure. My mom piped up and said, "Wait a minute. The Catholics are against gay marriage, but molesting altar boys is okay?! The Church is allowed to write off the priests as 'disturbed' while they sweep it under the carpet and ignore the issue?? They have some nerve!" This is why I love Mom.

An Episcopal church in Pasadena has the right view on it: "How dare a religious body say these people are not holy and these relationships are not holy?" [Emphasis mine]

Amen.

Labels: misc, politics

Today was Bean's first non-sponge bath (his belly button has finally healed enough to submerge him). But do you remember that old college trick about the hand in the bowl of warm water? Yeah... it was like that. He was nice and relaxed, and had just been in warm water. I had him all wrapped up in his hooded towel and - I can say this in retrospect - I waited just a tad too long. I suddenly realized that the warmth I was feeling was NOT from his bath. Good thing we hadn't drained the sink.

Labels: Bean

Here's a quick quiz. When changing a baby's diaper, what sort of things do you double check? If it's that you wipe front to back, then you're changing a girl. However, if you feel like you have to slap that new diaper on before you and/or baby get doused, then you're dealing with a little boy.

Bean proved he's a boy by not only peeing on himself, but by peeing in his own eye. Not only is that beyond classy, but it shows some kind of mad skillz. That's my boy.

Labels: Bean

So, they don't tell you about belly buttons. And they don't tell you what a colossal sexpot you'll be. But what they really don't tell you is that you cannot leave the house for any period of time and still look presentable.

We went to pick my mom up from the airport the other night. (It's about a 30-45 minute trip.) Most parents will regale you with stories of how they dressed their little darlings in a great outfit, only to have them poop or spit up or somehow ruin the outfit. And this always seems to happen moments before meeting the grandparents for the first time.

But not us. No siree. I took one for the team. Bean looked like a little cherub. I, on the other hand, looked like I had a hard time working out the logistics of a glass of water.



Notice the semi circle of dryness? Yeah, that's where one nipple pad (of the three I was wearing per boob) took a stand. Figures...

Labels: Bean, misc

It's a new day, with a new president. I was watching the coverage last night, holding my breath. Would McCain't try and pull a fast one like Bush the Stupider did in 2000? Would we go to bed not knowing the outcome? The margins were looking promising, but the past 8 years have done nothing to assuage my fears. My mom couldn't even watch for fear that she would somehow jinx it. I held my breath as the West Coast polls closed and then saw the projected results. And I'm not ashamed to say this - I cried.

I cried tears of joy because finally it seems our country hasn't lost its fucking mind. I cried because our son (and all sons and daughters) will grow up knowing that he can be whatever he wants to be. I cried for all the people who felt disenfranchised, downtrodden and just plain broken by our government.

For once, my mental jukebox has served up the perfect song for the occasion:



It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for all of us. Happy day, all.

Labels: misc, politics

I voted today

... and it wore me out.

Actually, our voting today was a breeze. Since the last election, our polling place has changed. (For the last election, it was in the dining room of a retirement community. It cracked me up to hear some old, white guy say, "Who'd you vote for? I voted for the black fella. You know, black power!" Good times.) Though we could walk to the old place, this new polling location had a parking spot right in front and we only had to wait 10-15 minutes in line. With the news coverage talking about 4 and 5 hour waits, I was a little nervous, but nothing was keeping me from doing what I had to do.

In all seriousness, if you haven't already, please vote today. Nothing is a foregone conclusion and your vote matters. Even if you don't feel your individual ballot will make a difference, then vote because people have fought and died for your right to do so. Vote because it makes a point. Vote because it will make you feel better. Vote because you're sick and tired of the state of our country. Vote because it's patriotic. Hell, vote because there's a chance you'll meet a hottie in the lines. Whatever your motivation, get out and vote.

[p.s. to Auntie Moi: Bean is wearing the outfit you gave him - the little footies are so damn cute!!]

Labels: misc, politics

In the last week or so we've tried to follow Bean's schedule. Sleeping and feeding have been especially interesting. Actually, to be more precise, sleeping and feeding at night have been interesting. Bean's pattern was to snooze from around 9-11 at night, and then the fun began. He'd wake after 4-5 hours, hungry as hell, he'd eat, poop and then become inconsolable. So we'd feed him again, change a diaper, and then walk/bounce/rock Bean to calm him down. Only he wouldn't sleep. So eat, change, walk/bounce/rock became eat, change, walk/bounce/rock, eat, change, walk/bounce/rock, eat, change, walk/bounce/rock, eat, change, walk/bounce/rock, eat, change, walk/bounce/rock until around 6 in the morning. Fun! Fun! This is what a new baby's all about, right?

We're both smart women, so we thought we'd beat Bean at his game. When he went down at 9, we'd go to sleep, too. We'd leave the house in a not-quite-closed-up-for-the-night state, have a movie ready to watch, and prepared for a late night movie time with Bean. We figured this would leave us well rested and able to weather the witching hours more readily.

We implemented it and for that first night it was great. True, it was a bizarre sleep schedule, but we felt better the next day. The next night, we were all set. Movie queued up, a light on in the living room - good to go. And once again we were rewarded with a decent night. Then Bean copped onto the fact that we had cracked the code and decided to change things up.

I don't think it bodes well that we are already being duped by a 10-day-old...

Labels: Bean

I was just sitting here with Bean asleep on my lap when I saw a flash of light. I thought, "Who the hell is in my front yard taking pictures??" Not a half second after having that thought, an ear-splitting peal of thunder sounded. Less than a half second after that, it started to pour down rain. No preamble, no heads up, just straight into a full on thunderstorm.

That lasted maybe 10 minutes. And then left. Only in Southern California...

(And only in Hollywood, would my first thought be that someone was taking pictures instead of it being lightning. Figures.)

Labels: misc