Picture it: a late night and a family getting ready for bed. Mama is brushing her teeth, Mommy is changing the baby's diaper on the bed. Mama finishes brushing just in time to hear, "OOP! Shoot! Quick - grab me a towel!"

The scene in the bedroom looks like this: semi-nude boy child with his nether regions exposed and his Mommy (quite unsuccessfully) trying to catch and hold his pee. Seems someone forgot to A) put Bean down on his changing pad and B) put a fresh diaper underneath. Since it's so late, the mommies briefly consider not changing the sheets. (Oh, hush - it's warm for a moment and it was late! Plus it was a MOMENT.) Before the decision can even be debated, the youngest amongst us decided to decide for us.

By peeing AGAIN. Without a diaper.

We never learn.

Labels: Bean, misc

You know how you can tell it's been a while since posting? Because our amazing Bean has gone from hating a bottle to loving a sippy cup. It's like he's telling us there's no use in shining him on with as-close-to-boob-as-possible warmed milk in a boobie-like nippled bottle. Cut the crap, Mommy. Now he takes cold milk in a cup. Such a big boy - and low maintenance, too!


And did I mention cute as the dickens?

Labels: Bean

I came across this artist on the NY Times website. If you want to waste some time, take a look at his work. Very clever. If you don't have time, then I'll just share one of my faves from his I LEGO N.Y. series:


(Once I've figured out how to juggle work and Bean with longer blog posts, I'll get back to 'em. Until then, posts will be abbreviated. Bear with me.)

Labels: misc, time wasters

...it must be the glasses.

Labels: Bean

I'll just barely squeeze this recap in before Bean's 5 month mark is officially over. As I type, he's asleep beside me on the couch, having squirmed himself into a REALLY uncomfortable looking position. (I tried to move him a few times, and he keeps going back to that position, so I guess he likes it. Ouch.) This position really shows how big he's become in the last month. According to his pediatrician, he's in the 97th percentile across the board. Not that I hold much stock in that, but at least he's proportioned well and not like he has a 97th percentile body and 4th percentile head.

If you didn't know better, you'd swear Bean's a 6-month-old. Not only does his size lead you to believe that, but sporting 2 cutie teeth and sitting up unassisted drive that point home. And if you watch carefully, he's started using his first sign - all done - with some regularity. If you don't know sign, no matter, he'll chatter to you all day long. It's the cutest thing in the world and is endlessly amusing. I love coming home from work and having him turn and greet me with a huge grin. Then we sit down and he tells me all about his day. I don't understand a single bit of it, nor do I care.

Complete validation provided by a 5-month-old. Gotta love it.

Labels: Bean, monthly recap

Growing up in the Midwest, I always anxiously awaited this day. To me it signaled the end of all that god-awful snow and cold. Sadly, I was bitterly disappointed every year when it would snow on the vernal equinox. You'd think I would have cottoned onto the fact that this pattern was never broken, but - alas - I was deluded and stubborn (and eternally optimistic).

I now live in LA where warm weather is the norm. That today marks the beginning of Spring is more a notch on the calendar, but it still remains my favorite day. I guess if you spend enough time in Hell (which, I might add, is a frigid, icy place in my mind - no flames and warmth) then a warm intro to Spring is the least that Mother Nature can give you.

Labels: misc

Yesterday was my first day back at work and Bean was not impressed. I met him and his mommy at the grocery store immediately after work. When he first saw me, his look was all, "Woman, it is about daggone time! This other lady has been trying to foist off these so-called 'nummies' on me all day. I KNOW nummies, and that bottle crap was not. it."

From 7:15 to 8:15 last night he ate three times. Full feedings each time. This from a boy who typically eats roughly 8 times in an entire day. Oof. My boobs are hoping we settle into a less frantic feeding schedule soon.

Labels: Bean

Thanks to your helpful feedback, I decided on the SLR-like Panasonic Lumix. (Thanks, Anonymous, whoever you are!) It's not a full-on SLR, but I want to make sure I'm actually going to use it before sinking money into a big girl camera. I've only started playing around with the settings and functionality, but so far I love it. With fewer than a dozen photos snapped, I got this shot in the living room, at night, with very low light and no flash:


With the old camera this would have been a blurry mess or almost black. I am in love!

Labels: misc, recommendations

I've been out of the office for five months. The last time I went five months without going to a job was... never. Okay, that's not entirely true. I worked for myself for a while, but I still went into an office. Granted, the office was in my house, but just go with me on this.

Tomorrow will be my first day back since going on maternity leave, and the prospect is really weirding me out. Not that I've been there for a million years or anything, but I have been there longer than many. Now that I'm returning, I feel a little like the new kid at school again. In the time I've been gone, employees have been hired and fired, and life has proceeded without me.

I'm sure I'll settle right back into the groove, but still. It feels weird.

Labels: misc

There was a line from either "Look Who's Talking" or its sequel where John Travolta and the baby are looking at a woman with big bazoombas. John asks, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" and the baby says, "Yeah, LUNCH!" Babies see the world through different eyes.

According to Bean, there are a few changes that I should make to my body to be more accommodating. With the following changes I may look silly, but Bean's life would be made a whole lot easier. (At least, that's what I'm lead to believe, given the frequency with which he makes the requests.)

• LASIK surgery - So he won't have to keep taking my pesky glasses off. Who knew they got in his way so much?


• Lip plates - I have tiny lips, which Bean does his best to make bigger through pulling. I don't know that I'll ever hit this kind of stretch, but that won't be for a lack of trying on his part.


• Stretched earlobes - Ditto.


• No nipples - While this may hinder his food delivery, I am guessing from the yanking and biting that this is his intention.


• Saggy boobs - Ditto.

To sum up, I'd have boobs, lips and ears all dragging on the ground, but my eyesight would be perfect! Sexxxxy....

Labels: Bean

A friend sent me a link to another quiz. This one figures out which daemon you'd have if the His Dark Materials (The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass) books were real life. It's kind of a long-ish quiz, but it's Friday and you don't feel like being at work anyway, right?

According to the quiz, I'm a shy, loving soul and would probably have a rabbit or a dik-dik as a daemon. The 7-year-old in me is giggling at the thought of me with a dik-dik. They are cute, though...

Labels: misc, time wasters

We have an ongoing debate in our household. Well, "debate" may be giving it more polish or weight than it deserves. Regardless, it centers around our floors and their cleanliness.

See, I was raised to always wear slippers or shoes. I'm not certain, but I guess my parents' rationale was that it kept our socks from getting filthy and from needing to be replaced often. Who knows. What it means is that, after so many years of footwear, I feel more comfortable in something with a sole than without.

Sweetie was raised with cats. This means that she is used to cat hair and cat effluvium all over the house. I, on the other hand, think that litter tracked around the house is nothing more than doo-doo sprinkles underfoot. Gross, right?

This is the crux of the matter. When I come home, my natural inclination is to keep my shoes on and proceed about my business. This drives Sweetie nuts. She's all for the Japanese way of thinking. If you wear your shoes indoors, then you're tracking all the outside dirt inside. And in the near future, Bean will be crawling in it.

But... doo-doo sprinkles everywhere is okay. Someone please explain this "logic."

Labels: misc

"If you must take my picture, fine, but no autographs!"

Labels: Bean

Back in college, I had a roommate who would actually watch the home shopping channel. Not just oops-I-was-channel-surfing-and-the-phone-rang. No, she would turn on the TV, go to that channel, and plop down for some tube time. Not only that, but when her family would visit they would all sit around our apartment watching QVC. I know people joke about what you have to put up with for the sake of family, but family-time around the television watching QVC?? Come. On. I would sit in my room listening to the insipid hosts with their overly-perky voices urging watchers to "just use Tootie!" and my eyes would practically get stuck from rolling so far into the back of my head.

Don't worry, it's not like I was scarred by the event. It's a memory that was refreshed the other night when I was channel surfing and saw this:



An entire show devoted to TAN TOWELS! Tan! Like, the most boring color ever. And a whole show on the most boring product they could possibly pair with the most boring color. What's next? "101 Uses for Wheat Germ" on Food Network?

Labels: misc

It's no secret here that I think the Bush clan is the scourge of the earth and that their politics were waaaaaay too influenced by religion. (What's that bit about separation of church and state again?) Today Obama took a step in reversing their idiocy and lifted the ban on stem cell research, to which I give a heartfelt AMEN!

I never understood how Bush was able to finagle that crap in the first place. I mean, yes, I get that the pro-lifers were up in arms (to say nothing of their monetary influence), but let's look at the ROI for it. Take one embryo and you get stem cell research that stands to benefit all of mankind. I think even Jesus would back ya on that one, guys - with the whole "selfless giving up of his life" being his m.o. an' all... Shoot, they could hit up crazies like octomom and kill two birds with one stone. Have a surplus of embryos? Don't want to raise 14 kids? Thinking 8 babies may be a bit much? Then donate your embryos to science!

I think I smell a great ad campaign...

Labels: news

Way back before the digital age, I loved photography. I loved loading my hand-rolled film, spending time in a darkroom and watching the magic of prints developing. It was then what woodworking is now - peaceful entertainment. Fast forward (mumble, mumble) years, and I find myself wanting to get back into it.

The last camera I bought was this compact point-and-shoot. It takes great photos given its size - and I attribute that in large part to its Leica lens - but I find myself wanting the control and versatility of a digital SLR now.

And so I solicit your advice and opinions. Load up the comments, or feel free to email me.

Labels: recommendations

As I write, the California Supreme Court is hearing oral arguments on Prop 8. There are three areas that are to be covered: (1) Is Proposition 8 invalid because it constitutes a revision of, rather than an amendment to, the California Constitution? (2) Does Proposition 8 violate the separation of powers doctrine under the California Constitution? (3) If Proposition 8 is not unconstitutional, what is its effect, if any, on the marriages of same-sex couples performed before the adoption of Proposition 8?

I'm listening to the arguments and sending out hope. There is no doubt in my mind that this is all far from over. Regardless of the ruling, I'm sure the opposite side will try, try again.

So I hope. Not necessarily for marriage (I think that's a personal choice whether you're gay, straight, or other), but for equality for ALL.

Labels: news

Baby Einstein, Barney, Blues Clues... these all scare me (that image of Michael Jackson in a Barney suit pretty much sums up my oog fator). Plunking my kid down in front of the TV is one thing. Rationalizing it as educational always seemed a stretch. Especially when babies are, well, babies. Does your baby really gain anything from watching insipid programming, or is it more for a momentary respite for you? I mean, let's call it for what it is. You don't *really* think that your baby is learning from a giant, purple dinosaur, do you?

Now there is a study that proves what I always suspected. In fact, the researcher's exact words were that so-called educational DVDs are "just wasted time." Don't get me wrong, I know that you'd feel better sitting the baby down in front of Baby Einstein over porn or UFC, just so you could grab 10 minutes for yourself. But for my money, the best education you can give your baby comes from interacting with him. Throw down a woobie, grab some toys and play with your kid. Sure, it may be at the expense of you showering, but he doesn't care if your hair looks like gods revenge. He just wants time with Mama.

Labels: news

Yesterday was a momentous day. At just over 4 months old, our little guy cut his first tooth. He's so good natured, though, that we didn't even suspect it. We just figured that something I had eaten earlier didn't agree with him. Wrong-o, sports fans. That mild fussiness and upset belly were because of the tooth. When you consider that getting teeth in is sort of a series of compound fractures (bony protuberances through skin, right?) it's even more amazing that he's not completely losing it. If roles were reversed, I doubt I'd be as easy going. Of course, the fact that we're dosing him heavily with these natural teething tablets probably doesn't hurt.

Speaking of losing it, I can't wait for this to enter into our breastfeeding routine. (Smell that? That's sarcasm.) Even before teeth, Bean was doing the suck-chomp-yank thing on my nipples, so I can only imagine how much fun that will be with sharp baby teeth in the mix. I think I'm going to begin with this bit of advice from Dr. Sears: "As soon as you feel him begin to bite, draw him in very close to your breast, covering his nose in the process, so that he'll have to stop biting to be able to open his mouth and breathe."

Spare the bod, smother the child - isn't that how the saying goes?

Labels: Bean